I’ve recently discovered a skill I’ve long had, that I didn’t know I had, and it’s seriously exciting because it means that now that I know about it, I can learn to refine my use of it. Since the skill appears to me to be one that makes the difference between EFT and TAT working for people and not working, I think it’s a skill that we can all benefit from knowing about.
Over 35 years ago, at the University of Chicago, a psychotherapist and philosopher by the name of Eugene Gendlin was studying what makes therapy successful. Contrary to what he was expecting to find, he was amazed to discover that the answer lay not in something that the therapist did, but rather, was a skill that the client did or didn’t have. Gendlin found that he was able to predict whether or not a series of therapy sessions would be successful simply by viewing a recording of the first two sessions with a client. When he went back and checked what he had discovered against his own practice, he found that contrary to what he had believed, those of his clients who were successful all had the skill to start with, and simply became better at tapping into it as the sessions went by. Those clients who didn’t have the skill, continued to flounder and not get the answers they needed to resolve their issues, no matter how many sessions he had with them.
So what is this skill that makes all the difference? Gendlin found that those who were successful in therapy at different times stopped talking, and appeared to be going inward, searching for the right word to use to describe a feeling. He discovered that it was a process that went on inside of them that made all the difference, and later went on to study the process to the point of being able to develop teachable steps , so that everyone can learn it. He called the skill Focusing, and there is now a worldwide Focusing movement with people from all walks of life successfully tapping into this skill to enhance whatever other methods they use for healing and their own growth.
Learning Focusing is rather like learning a language – learning the language of your own body. It’s long been known that we store unprocessed emotions in our bodies, and Focusing gives us a gentle way to tap into the information that our body is holding for us. For those who are naturals with this skill, learning more about it can help us to enhance our ability to hear the messages of our body. For those who, try as they might, have found that they are unable to resolve anything beyond simple issues with EFT and TAT, learning and practicing this skill is likely to really help you to tap into your body’s wisdom. Focusing fits really well with EFT and TAT and, of course, a Focusing session on its own can also prove to be very healing.
One of the biggest benefits to me personally from learning Focusing has been learning an approach to Self Empathy that I lacked even more than I realised! Through Focusing I’ve discovered that a lot of us have grown up with PhDs in self criticism and a huge gap in our ability to be with those aspects of ourselves that we don’t like, with kindness. Focusing is helping me to learn to be with those aspects of myself with empathy, and what is unfolding from this is nothing short of magic. And interestingly I’m finding it’s not only empathy with myself – the other day I drove past some hunters out with their dogs and guns, and instead of my usual gggrrhh contraction, I found myself sending empathy to the foxes they were hunting, and even holding the hunters themselves in empathy, realising that we are each entitled to our own beliefs and it is totally unreasonable of me to expect the entire world to be vegetarians simply because that’s what works for me. It felt good to be emanating empathy into the world, where usually if I’m honest, I’m instead sending out gggrrhh vibes, and it was all thanks to my recent exposure to Focusing.
Another major benefit for me has been the ability to uncover unconscious beliefs that are driving me in a different direction to what I consciously want to go. Through Focusing I am discovering that what I previously saw as roadblocks to my healing process, are actually signposts, pointing the direct route to resolving the issues. As I bring empathy to myself, and sit with and really hear the beliefs that I have adopted deep down, I find my path opening up before me, with unconscious resistance melting away once the beliefs have been truly heard. As anyone who has been involved with healing for any length of time will know, these unconscious beliefs have an enormous power over us, but only for as long as they remain hidden. Focusing assists us to bring these beliefs to light, and as we become aware of them, we are able to make more conscious choices in the areas that were previously being driven by these unconscious beliefs.
If you are interested in finding out more about this incredibly useful skill, these links will take you to various articles and links that can assist you in learning and further refining your use of this skill:
What is a Focusing Partnership?
The Power of a Focusing Partnership