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I introduced EFT to a friend of mine a few months back, who has become a major fan of it, and who introduces it to her family and friends whenever she gets a chance. When she told me a few days ago that she does the tapping for the person she is doing EFT with whenever she can, I was initially horrified, thinking that they should be taking that responsibility for themselves. Little did I know at the time, but it turns out that horror was pointing to a core issue for me, one that was unravelled by … having someone else tap for me!
My friend was so enthusiastic about having recently had the experience of her sister tapping for her, that when an issue came up that I wasn’t able to budge on my own, despite several attempts with EFT and with TAT, I decided to ask my partner if he would tap for me. My friend had said it would be good for me, because as a fellow control freak like her, it would be an exercise in letting go of control, and allowing someone else to not only lead me with the EFT phrases, but also tap on the points for me.
I started out by writing out a list of frustrations that I had that went with the issue, along with my goal for the session, then handed the piece of paper to my partner and determined to try to let go and follow him. He tapped through several of the items on the list, gently explored where some of them might have come from, and I relaxed into what, as my friend had said, is a lovely feeling of being nurtured as someone leads you through the phrases and taps for you. And before long I was in tears as I realised connection after connection that lay underneath this long term issue of mine, connections that all went back to … my tendency to be a control freak! It turned out that my need to be able to control was what was underlying the issue itself, but the session didn’t stop there, as it rapidly helped me to see what it was in my past that had led to my need to control.
I now have newfound respect for the way Gary Craig, and my friend, tap for other people when doing EFT, after thinking for so long that it’s important for people to do their own tapping so that they are taking responsibility for their healing. The control freak in me has learnt that sometimes taking responsibility for your own healing means reaching out to another and asking for help, and taking the plunge to trust someone else to lead you through it. I’ve discovered that when released from the need to guide my own session, I can step more aside from my conscious mind and allow insights to bubble up my subconscious, unfettered by my need to attempt to control the direction of the session. I’ve learnt how wonderful it is to place your trust in someone else tapping on the points for you, and to allow them to nurture you in that beautiful way.
I’ve spent so much of my life seeking to be independent, and searching for methods of healing that will allow me and others to resolve our own issues. As I resolve more and more issues, I see more and more that my need to be independent has actually been driven by my issues around being a control freak. As these issues are peeled away, layer by layer, I am learning the joy of healing with another and thereby allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone else.
If you do EFT and haven’t tried it, I highly recommend seeking out a friend who does EFT, and exchanging a session with them, leading and tapping for each other. As a practitioner I have long known the power of holding a space for someone as they heal, and now as someone doing my own healing I am learning the power of allowing someone else to hold a space for me as I heal. As we are all connected, this truly has to be a powerful way for us to heal.
If you don’t do EFT but do TAT, while I haven’t yet tried it, I would imagine that the same would apply for TAT – that we could ask a friend to lead us through the steps and to hold the pose for us, and sit back and relax as we don’t need to consider what step is coming next.
This article would be incomplete without a big thank you to both my friend, for suggesting this method of working, which has enabled me to unfold more of a core issue, and to my partner for his loving and nurturing tapping and leading me through the session. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart.